Carrie Bradshaw found real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, cant-live-without-eachother love. And I found Textbook Romance!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It's that time of the year...SALES!! But more importantly all the uni bums are currently on holidaysss!!! Which for me, means finally starting my work experience at the local radio station and catching up with everyone from the school/uni mates to cousins and my gorgeous niece who was ignored for the last two miserable-ass weeks of the semester.

Anyway, I promised myself as soon as I was free I would dedicate my first two weeks to catching up with the girls. And so I did. Unfortunately because I’m so popular this was split into a few different outings as I tend to hangout with a variety of sexy biatches from different (as shitty and high school as it sounds) groups.

So, I met up with all my lovely ladies and I noticed a key theme in terms of conversation… surprise surprise MEN. I like to call them boys, because most of these guys were in their early twenties. Every girl had a different issue, some stories were just the usual “I can’t find a decent guy,” whilst others were afraid they may have committed to a non-existant relationship to a foreign man in a foreign country! Anyway, we shall leave the Sex and The City stories to another day. But this made me realise something about myself, I’m content with the single life; I also realised I have a new obsession…'TEXTBOOK ROMANCE.'

Zoe Foster’s Textbook Romance is basically a gal’s “step-by-step guide to getting the guy.” I've found myself selling this book, which has seriously become my newest obsession. I have even started to use the lingo Zoe has created within everyday life. In fact every time something came up in conversation last week I'd be like, "Oh babe, trust me-engage the apricot!” Unfortunately for me, no one got it, which meant I then sat there explaining. Wow! If exclamation marks could interpret my tone, imagine my husky voice at the highest pitch it could possibly reach. In short, I LOVE IT!

Oh and btw I’m so sorry for blogging about this after Christmas (I hope you can find a copy on the shelves!) but I seriously just milked that book because I didn’t want it to end.
How the obsession came about?

Well guys, you are going to have to use your imagination a bit here and visualise me, rocking up to the Dymocks counter in Liverpool Westfield’s… No, I’m clearly not the 40 something year old woman with a moustache! However, if you’ve spotted a girl with the curly (fuzzball) hair, rocking too-much bronzer-that’s me! As most of you know, I have little to no shame at all, thus my confidence levels are rather high. Yet, here I was perched over the counter with this sales assistant standing before me and I ask “do you have Zoe Foster’s…” and suddenly my loud confident voice turned to a small whisper as I force out “Textbook Romance!” As she ran over to fetch it for me, I made it as though I was ever so interested in some random cookbook. Anyway, once she’d returned I was so besotted that I got the last one on the shelf I could have kissed the poor girl, yet I contained myself and just turned to her with a gleeful look and she knew. Believe me, she knew. She gave me that look, you know that, “Oh I know you’re embarrassed, but its okay look!” So, she attempted to make me feel better, as she commented, “It’s a good read…ahh Hamish’s contribution is funny!” First of all I was like woahh?? I love Hamish (I really do) but its Zoe’s book too man. Secondly, REE-LAX girlfriend- I’m not heartbroken and clearly show no signs of a desperado in the making, I just loved Zoe’s first book (Air Kisses) which i also highly recommend… anyway, awkward moment much? So, I proceeded to pay for my
book and order in (coz God forbid I find it anywhere) Mia Freedman’s new one, Mama Mia!!

Ohh so excited (that reminds me I must go pick that up, girl called me during my workout to notify me that it arrived- how convenient with my pulse radiating at 20,000 km per millisecond, as if I could focus on phone etiquette? ANYWAY, that’s just a whole other story in itself! Which, I shall probably blog about anyways.

Those who know me are aware that I am the go to girl, without hesitation I inflict my advice on them-unfortunately whether it is music to their ears or not ... I must admit I’m the girl that prefers to be the ref, the one who is a celeb in her own right but decides to stand in the background and observe the game fair and square.

I often opt to enforce those ESSENTIAL DATING RULES! I’m not emotionally involved, but happy just monitoring the surface of the game rather than become the team player. Many may be surprised that I picked up a self help book; in fact I can directly quote Maya’s reaction over lunch the other day “WTF Abz, a self help book??” Sure, I got a few giggles and “Abz, babe, you ok?” Relax my lovelies. Don’t be surprised I haven’t been sane since the minute my dad cut that umbilical cord. Now I could have said that but in response to my worried friends, I (harshly) stated “Ahh yeah! I'm fine bitch, but that's because I have this to prepare me for the future! When you call me in tears or are rolling around in a foetal position, I‘ll try my hardest not to quote Zoe’s famous “No offence, but you’re a moron.” Basically, I believe this is the Bible, Quran, Buddhist Readings, Tanakh (Torah) and the code that scientologists go by of
romance! I know, pretty big call but you’ll understand when you read it.

So I know (ok never say never) but at the moment I believe that I won't allow myself to be in a relationship for a few years (unless of course Channing Tatum/ Tyson Beckford decide to leave their wives) Or ‘The Guy’ will have to be pretty darn spesh! However, I think every living female should own a copy of Textbook Romance! Zoe is witty, honest and straight to the point and Hamish’s 2 cents worth is as expected, perfectly amusing!

Furthermore look I'm more than happy to listen to my girls and I'm the first to admit when it comes to relationships I hold the least amount of experience. But funnily enough, I think I have that advantage, I’m not emotionally attached and as the old saying goes sometimes it takes an outsider to bring you back to reality! We all know I'm brutally honest and despite allowing my girls hours of crying on my shoulder ( to the point where my blouse becomes see-through) I'm the first to say “Babe, Fuck it- he isn't worth your time!”
But the golden rule which I absolutely LOVED was "he doesn't need to be reminded of your existence" ahhh pretty sure when I say: Jenny* don’t text him, he knows you’re alive, babe…believe me I know, I understand how tempting it is to text him but take your sim card out and shove your phone in your undie drawer (funnily enough Zoe agrees LOL she even insists you lock the drawer and freeze the key.) Over the top? Fuck yeah!! Nonetheless an ingenious idea!! Admit it, the girl is extremely wise.*P.S. names may have been changed due to the boyfriends who have me as a mate on Facebook.

So there you have it, I hope I have convinced you to checkout my new obsession. And to my dear friends, I’m so sorry in advance. This may or may not be just another obsession e.g. Mariah Carey, Iphone, Magazines, and countless celebrities that you have to add on to the list of things I will be talking about forever.

Oh, whilst I’m tooting Zoe’s horn right now, you should probably checkout the world’s best beauty blog http://www.primped.com.au/ where their motto is the-go-to for the how-to in beauty! Furthermore, for the girls that have read Air Kisses and are just as obsessed as me, Zoe will be releasing her new novel ‘Playing the Field,’ which is expected to be in stores February!

Finally, here’s to hoping you all stick to those New Years Resolutions! I hope to continue to lose the last 10 Kilos (ps lol SO over this resolution I’ve had it for 2 years and have lost 29.) I also aim to do as much work experience (Magazines) as humanly possible whilst maintaining decent results at Uni and getting in touch with my creative side by learning to play acoustic GUITAR!!! Hmm…I wonder if it’s a big jump from Air Guitar? But more importantly I wish you all a blissful 2010, filled with laughter, generosity, inspiration, and a bit of curiosity ;)

P.S. For the tight-asses who wish to borrow my copy of Textbook Romance, dream it-because there is a long waiting list!

P.P.S. I thought I’d add in a great quote/text message I received from my friend Maz today regarding Zoe’s first book Air Kisses, “I love Zoe Foster…I have about 80 pages left n I can’t put it down OMG I don’t want it to finish!!! EVER!!” Clearly, I’m not the only fan?

P.P.P.S you guys can reach Zoe via Twitter @zotheysay. I can't guarantee she'll reply but ya never know …Erm just make sure you don't mention my name, otherwise I'm pretty sure you’ll be getting the zotheysay@(inserturname) Please tell @ AbiMoustafa to quit stalking me. Nah, like seriously the bitch is getting annoying with her tweets/retweets!

Abi xxx